Wednesday, December 17, 2008

I can only imagine....

Christmas traditions or should I say Christmas chores were always a big thing with me and Nanny. For years and years Mom and I have helped her shop, decorate and wrap! The year Silas was born, Nanny had lost her job and had a lot of free time on her hands. So she came home with us after Thanksgiving for the week! Let me just tell you we didn't let a newborn baby stop us from anything, we hit Costco, Target, World Market and everywhere in between. We shopped while the girls were at school, and then we would wrap the afternoon away! Another year, Uncle Bob brought her for a long weekend to Charlotte - we set the guys up with food and a football game and she and I hit the road running within minutes of their arrival! We did most of her shopping that day and her wrapping that night! My Christmas feels a little incomplete this year - I don't have her list in my purse and I haven't called her a hundred times with ideas and thoughts about what we should buy or order next!
I could dwell on the sadness of my heart and how broken I feel from the loss of her, but instead this Season I intend on focusing on the good Christmas memories that I have of her, remembering her laugh and her joy. And, I can't dwell on those things long that my mind doesn't take me to where she is now. Can you imagine celebrating your first Christmas in Heaven? What a glorious occassion that must be to be with Our Lord and Saviour. To know that her faith has become sight is enough to make me giggle! To know that she is walking on streets of gold, that she is wearing a robe and crown - now really how can I spend my time sad when she is so happy! That's not to say that the tears have stopped, they haven't. But I am thankful for the memories that I have and I am thankful for the legacy she has left...that for years to come we will be able to talk about and share her with one another. As God's child I have the hope that my eternity will be spent with her until than I can only imagine what it will be like...
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