Monday, December 23, 2013


Somehow Christmas has come and gone.  Between the flu, unexpected travel because of a death, work, school and a came.  Was I ready?  Not really.  Was that okay, absolutely! 
There were movies to watch, traditions to keep up, everyone's favorite baking to be done, lights to see and devotions to be read!  Yet, I was content to be.  Content to reflect on what this season is about and be okay to let things go.
And to our family it is about Jesus.  Not just about his arrival but about His death.  For we know that without his death, we can not have life. 
I am thankful this season and every single day, that in our house we have all accepted His perfect gift.  A gift that we know it is only by Grace we can receive it.   In Luke the scriptures teach us that Mary pondered in her heart all the details, and that's exactly what I want to do every single day.  

Wednesday, December 18, 2013


Be still my heart, how is it even possible that baby girl is turning eleven?  The years are rushing by and I am holding on with all my might.  It feels like yesterday that we were awaiting her arrival. 
Ellie is our tender one, the lover, the little momma.   Big brown eyes, an itty bitty frame and enough hair for ten people.  She is a server at home, at church and at school.  She loves many and is loved back by many.  She is a good friend.
She has a temper, saves it until needed...then you better watch out!
She may be slow to anger but her wit is quick.  Her comebacks are funny and accurate. 
Eleanor is a blessing, we are thankful that the Lord trusted her to us.  We pray that God will be her passion always. 

Sunday, November 17, 2013

Happy Birthday Silas!

Our smallest is turning eight today.  It seems unbelievable.  When I think of the past eight years with this special boy, I am overwhelmed with all that he has accomplished.   Three months ago, he started second grade and the floodgates opened.  I began to feel overwhelmed as we watched Silas quit eating, lose sleep, cry constantly and have panic attacks.  We prayed, we called others to pray, we researched, sought counsel and begged God for answers.  One night as I was praying, I said "I can't do this, I am not able."  And a voice so clear spoke to the depths of my heart and said "my child you were made for this, I called you to be his momma and you will do this."
And in that moment I took a deep breath and plunged forward.  Since bringing Silas home, we have seen him come back to life.  We have heard him belly laugh, consume more calories than I can count and play hard. 
So today, on this day, we celebrate the hurdles that he has crossed.  Wishing he wouldn't have to face more, knowing that he will and equipping him with the knowledge of His Savior to help him continue to be an overcomer.
What a joy it is be his momma, happy birthday to the one who sees me through rose colored glasses!

Friday, November 15, 2013

Five years

Five years ago I  traveled home to be by the side of my loved and cherished aunt, Nanny Mary Ann, as she left her earthly home and entered her eternal home.   The days that surrounded her homecoming are etched into my mind and I hold tight to them.  The smell of her lotion, the feel of her skin and the I love yous that she said.
She was an amazing second momma to me and my heart aches so much for her.  When I need momma advice I miss her opinion, which I never ever had to ask for, she just freely gave it.  When it's time to make her favorite cake, I miss making it with her.  When my mornings are quiet, I miss those long daily talks thst carried me through newborn nights, toddler tantrums, first days of school and the list goes on.  I see her in my Clara   Clara's passion is so much like Nanny was.  Sometimes, I just look at Clara and say, "oh nanny is here for here the day, maybe I should put on a pot of coffee." 
I am so thankful for the memories, yet I would be lying if I didn't say the memories break my heart too.
So today as my mind drifts to that hospice room that cold weekend in November, I choose to remember the good.  The people who poured into our family and for life changing moments in my heart that happened as I literally watched her take her last breaths and enter into that heavenly place.  I will continue to let her legacy live on in our house, so thankful for the way she left her mark on all six of us.

Monday, October 14, 2013

Never say Never

Not so many years ago, Beau and I had a little one ready to start school.  She had been under our feet for five years.  We loved it.  We really prayed about what her education needed to look like.  We felt like the public school was our thing.  It broke my heart to leave her that first day of kindergarten.  I had never had to do that.  Yet, we knew she was where she needed to be.  Over the past twelve years we have been blessed with amazing teachers, great experiences and an education that I feel confident in.   Not just for Molly but for our all of our girls.
Along the way,  God in His infinite wisdom called us to be parents of a bouncing baby boy.  A little boy who found his delight in a the dirt pile behind our house and found his fear in leaving it.  Normal things like going to church and buying milk became as difficult to accomplish as climbing Mt.Everest.  We nurtured him, exposed him to many things and mostly loved him.  He was different.  Words did not always come easily for him and social settings were scary for him.  We did pre school together, my little buddy and me.  Silas in one room, me right next door.  He struggled on one hand and made huge strides on the other.  I will never forget the day his teacher peeked in my room with tears in her eyes and said "I just had to ask Silas to quit talking."  We celebrated that our mute little boy had spoken too much!!  As we approached kindergarten, we knew it would not be easy.  He struggled, we struggled.  He was a sad boy at home because his days exhausted him mentally and physically.  He persevered.  He made progress.  He survived!  First grade came. We were blessed with a teacher who from day one just got him.  He still struggled but he thrived.  Then came second grade.  From the start he struggled again, he quit eating, couldn't sleep, was getting bullied and the list goes on and on.  He was miserable and we were heart broken.  So, we brought him home.  Something I never ever thought I would do, we were all of a sudden being called to do.  Silas is eating, sleeping and laughing.  We are learning new things every day.  We are praying for his future.  Today our calling for Silas is to home school.  
We walk a crazy line.  We believe that the public school system is a good thing.  We feel that our girls needs are  being met and that they are where they need to be.  But we also believe that for now home school is the right thing for Silas.
We are thankful for those who have prayed us through the past two months.  For the notes, emails and texts that have literally carried us through.